The highlight for many this week was Celtic’s League cup victory, grabbing the first trophy of the season and extending their invincible run to 65 games. Don’t be too quick to applaud this apparently outstanding display of consistency as it is only maintained through the deceitful powers of Peter Lawwell and his ‘kafflick kabal’s konspiracy’ (kkk). (Another organisation has the upper case triple K trademarked so here’s hoping I’m not infringing any copyright issues there)
This kkk is always in control, for instance the referee did not call a foul for Kipré’s tackle on Dembélé as the tackle was outside the box and everyone knows only Griffiths scores free kicks, and he wasn’t even on the pitch! This of course cleared the way for the dodgy penalty and red card, against the innocent / not so innocent Kipre, later in the game, maximising the impact in favour of Celtic. Without this Celtic would never have capitalised on their 1 goal lead against a team that appeared worried they would suffer an allergic reaction by crossing in to the Celtic half of the field.
As the Celtic v Motherwell World Series (3 games in a week!) continued on Wednesday night at Fir Park, the machinations of the kkk were too blatant for even the most green of greenians to deny. The referee in this game somehow allowed the self-proclaimed ‘Invincibles’ to extend their undefeated run to 66 games against the poor honest steelmen on Wednesday night with yet another ‘saft’ penalty.
Thankfully Motherwell have another opportunity to put things right and level up the series at Celtic Park this Saturday. I did think it was strange that they received the trophy after the first game.
On an unrelated note I would just like to say that I fully agree with Mr Wilde’s assertion that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit…
And so on to Aberdeen the second place team in the league. their determination to make the life of all fans of the Ibrox based football operation utterly miserable even when they are happy is just getting in to gear. Last night’s 3-0 pasting at the hands of their manager’s perfect club (sure the meeja says it’s so) is perhaps the best example of Catch 22 since Joseph Heller coined the phrase in his 1961 book.
‘There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one’s own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn’t, but if he was sane he would have to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn’t have to; but if he didn’t want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle. “That’s some catch, that Catch-22,” he observed. “It’s the best there is,” Doc Daneeka agreed.’
This latest success / setback is a horrible conundrum for the supporters of our favourite multi-monikered club. Defeat of the second best club in the country, in the words of the interim manager, has set ‘the benchmark’ for Sevco/rangers/TRFC… avoiding 3 defeats in a row is the benchmark I think he was referring. Get that man a magic and hat!
The downside being that all their benchmark setting allowed Celtic to extend their lead in the league over Aberdeen, who everyone knows is part of the kkk. Proving once again the influence of Mr Lawwell’s kkk in installing his functionary as ‘interim manager’ at Ibrox whilst making it impossible for the blue room to fund a new manager, all the while increasing the lead of his favoured football team. He is a crafty fellow.
Thankfully I have every confidence that the dedicated denizens of greater Govan will be able to access the mental faculties to complete the required intellectual gymnastics and willfully ignore this awful conundrum. They will happily declare themselves as closing the gap even when Celtic have extended their lead at the top. I am particularly confident that their blind loyalty (great word that) can rise to the occasion, as this is not the most difficult Catch 22 they have faced.
They do still think they are Rangers after all and convinced of this as they are they have also managed not to pay any of the debts whilst acquiring the history and trophies…
Dave King contemplates whether he really did save Sevco, or was it Rangers, and if so why is he watching their funeral from a tree with no clothes on.
OTHER THINGS THAT HAPPENED THIS WEEK
Hibernian did their utmost to make sure no one forgets they are the origin of the ‘canny believe that dafty hibsed that’ phrase by grabbing another draw from the jaws of victory. But thankfully nobody is paying too much attention to this in the Burgh as the Jambos are making sure they maintain the type of mediocre performance that makes fans weep…if they can see what is happening on the pitch.
St Mirren with two victories against ICT and Livingston in the space of 4 days have swiped top place from Dundee United this week in the always closely fought championship.
Falkirk continue to make a mockery of new manager Paul Hartley’s target of top four with successive 3-0 spankings from Dundee HIBERNIAN and GREENock Morton. There really is no end to Lawwell’s reach in the Scottish game. He’s our very own éminence grise a latter day François Leclerc du Tremblay (or Father Joe as some many have called him) of Scottish Football. Although I’m not sure what his grudge is against Falkirk or even who his Cardinal Richelieu could be; but I’m sure he and his kkk are responsible!
ICT’s 4-0 victory over Brechin City moved them on to 16pts and up to 7th place. This league will go to the wire once again for the winners and play off places I’m sure. We just need a decent governing body to promote it…
Ayr stay 3 points clear of Raith Rovers in League One but the Kirkcaldy team have a game in hand.
Montrose are top of the pile in League Two, heading a top 5 group that are separated by only 5 points.
I don’t imagine anyone is interested in this or else the SPFL would be promoting such closely contested league championships…
THINGS THAT (STILL) DIDN’T HAPPEN THIS WEEK
Derek McInnes didn’t leave Aberdeen to join Rangers (the new one) although he was instrumental in getting them their best result of the season so far.
The SFA Compliance officer never ruled on 2011 / 12 UEFA licence for Rangers (the deid club)
The SFA didn’t review their procedures and announce any rules in order to pretend they had made the correct decision all along.
Motherwell didn’t get the rub of the green from those nasty referees
Motherwell didn’t appeal the decisions of those nasty referees.
Neither the SFA nor the SPFL announced how they will safeguard our game and create a culture of responsible sustainable ownership and transparent governance.
The last one is the only one that shocked me, I was sure there was going to be a big corporate governance announcement before I wrote this up.
That’s enough from me, as I’m reliably informed by the powers that be that I have mentioned too many teams already as Scottish football is made for only two teams…
…Rangers & Sevco.
Anyway the weekend starts early here in the dustbowl so I’ll be drinking beer and dreading the return of the working week before you start reading this or even start your weekend. Have a great one and in the words of a great Scottish philosopher – keep on keeping on.